I wrote this blog on my main one (which I have shut down since Faithie left). Please read it and I will bring you Pauseland Part 2 tomorrow.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Where is the Pause button in life?
Seriously I wish this life had a pause button. I would so hit pause on many different times in my life.
For example I would hit the pause when my babies were little and take a nap. Then I would have been more refreshed when they were awake and could give them more of myself. I would tell myself in Pauseland that this too will pass so love on those kids because before you know it they will be 10, 8 1/2, and 7 years old. Enjoy the moments you have with them.
When Faith was diagnosed with Autism I would have liked to hit pause for a moment before the lady who told us would tell us. In that moment I would love to punch the lady (lets be honest she was not my favorite person at the moment. It wasn't her fault, just her job. I still didn't like her). I would have screamed at the top of my lungs and would have had my own massive meltdown. Then before I hit play I would remind myself this is a good thing to have the early diagnosis. Life will have up and downs but Faith will grow. Just take super big deep breaths. Oh and in Pauseland that lady I just punched won't feel a thing once the play button has been hit.
Now I want to hit pause again. This time for my husband. Many of you know by now that he has something wrong with his heart.
For example I would hit the pause when my babies were little and take a nap. Then I would have been more refreshed when they were awake and could give them more of myself. I would tell myself in Pauseland that this too will pass so love on those kids because before you know it they will be 10, 8 1/2, and 7 years old. Enjoy the moments you have with them.
When Faith was diagnosed with Autism I would have liked to hit pause for a moment before the lady who told us would tell us. In that moment I would love to punch the lady (lets be honest she was not my favorite person at the moment. It wasn't her fault, just her job. I still didn't like her). I would have screamed at the top of my lungs and would have had my own massive meltdown. Then before I hit play I would remind myself this is a good thing to have the early diagnosis. Life will have up and downs but Faith will grow. Just take super big deep breaths. Oh and in Pauseland that lady I just punched won't feel a thing once the play button has been hit.
Now I want to hit pause again. This time for my husband. Many of you know by now that he has something wrong with his heart.
Today we are at U or M for Jamie's first appointment to see what we are going to be doing with his heart. I haven't told Jamie how I feel because he has been really up and down with this whole ordeal. If it was me, I would be the same way.
Just wish I could hit pause and be in Pauseland for a few minutes. There I can scream out my thoughts and fears and take a few breaths.
Right now we are waiting for the doctor........ Will let you know what he says. I guess this a good sort of time to hit my imaginary button.
Thanks for being open and honest
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