My Girl

My Girl

Saturday, April 16, 2016


Do you really want to know what hurts the most since Faithie passed (her passing is an obvious one)?  The lack of love and support.

I've heard people say "I'm afraid I'm going to upset you or make you cry."  Jamie and I have always been open and have said many times over "that's better than silence."  I know people are uncomfortable around someone who has lost someone.  Yet their inability to talk or text hurts those they are trying not to hurt.  

When our girl left I was overwhelmed by all the love and support.  It helped us move forward at the most difficult time in our married life. As time went on people just stopped calling or coming over or inviting us over.  They went away just like Faithie.

What really hurt was I found out they just became "too busy" to text, send a Facebook message, call or show up.  It has hurt more than I've let on.  I tried to restore friendship with one but was given the "I've been really too busy". Whatever you're on Fakebook.  Why not drop a line? You have time for that right? I think it would have been better to say, "I'm not able too give you what you need in friendship right now.  Please know that I care but must disconnect."  I think that's better than the "I've been so busy."  It would still hurt but at least we would know where we stand and understand the silence then.

It's been 10 years that I've lived here and yet have not seemed to be able to make a close connection with anyone.  I think it's me but I don't know what it is about me or about us.

I think it may have been people were not sure about Faith and her autism.  They were probably a little afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.  I can understand that a little. But as time has gone on the friendships have still not stayed solid. 

I left our old church because of the lack of friends.  It's hard going somewhere where you're just not connecting.  

The same issue is happening at our church now. We thought friendships were forming but they've all stopped.  I just don't even want to go to church anymore. 

For the few who've been there and have stayed there thank you.  I wish you were closer though.

I'm going to delete people to only family and a few people I think I can trust with my heart.  I don't want pity friends.  

I just wanted to let you know ahead of time why ypu were deleted.  This way you can't complain to others on Fakebook about being deleted and have no clue why.

I think death shows people their true colors. 

My Dad who I never think is right happens to be right about friends.  He always told me as I was growing up, "Heather friends come and go.  So don't bother about becoming attached."

And oh I wish my Princess was here.  I'd still be lonely for a close friendship here but at least I would have my Princess.