Last week I went to a women's retreat sponsored by my church. They had an ice breaker game with a small bag of M&M's. The game required you to pull out an M&M and depending on the color you would answer a question about yourself.
For example the green one asked you to tell three fears you have. I can tell you my three fears but one has already come true. My three fears are losing a very close loved one, dying by fire, and developing Alzheimer's.
The Blue one was what good choice did you make today. My good choice, I did pull this one out, was making sure my cats had food before I left. I didn't want them to starve and I wasn't worried about preparing my boys for my being gone. They have handle it many times over now.
The brown one was tell about a pet or family member. I shared this because I picked this one too. I shared about how my friend Jerri had a cat phone sound and played it for Lacy our dog. Lacy just stared at it like hmmmm what's that? Tiger, my cat, was stressed by the sound. She hissed and her fur rose and she prepared for an attack.
The yellow one, which I didn't pull, was share your favorite movie. I have many favorites.
In the 1960's my favorite movie is The Sound of Music. I love Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory from the 70's. I will watch all the Star Wars movies and yes even Episodes 1-3. All of the Lord of the Rings movies from the 2000's are great. The Princess Bride and The Laybrinth are my favorite 80's movies and from the 90's I love Armageddon. I guess I am a lover of movies and could go on and on and make this list bigger and bigger.
I don't remember what the red one asked but I do know what the orange one wanted us to share. It wanted us to share who would we have lunch with past or present. I ate that one and all the other oranges in my bag. It was the first M&M I pulled out and Jerri said, "soooo who are you going to say?" It would have seemed obvious and Faithie would have been my choice. At the time it was my choice and I didn't want to share that with everyone. My heart wasn't ready to share with the women who didn't know my daughter had passed and receive the "Oh I'm so sorry" comments.
Over the last week I've have thought more about who I would have lunch with. I would love to eat with Faithie but knowing she would go back to Heaven when we were done kills my heart. It hurts my heart deeply every time I dream about her. I'm so physically drained when I wake up. I always know she cannot crossover from my dream and stay with me.
There are many actor/actresses I think would be interesting to eat with but they really are not important enough for me to give my time up.
One of the past presidents I would love to eat with is Franklin D. Roosevelt. I would love to pick his brain about how much he felt people should rely on the government for everything. Would he be pleased with how the welfare system is going today or would he be disappointed? How does he feel about the current political parties? Does he feel embarrassment like I do with both? Pride? Anger? Joy? What would he think America should do today regarding so many issues that were not relevant then.
The other topic I would love to talk to him about is his disability. He was stricken with Polio and developed paralysis from the waist down. I've read how determined he was to walk short distances and to never give up hope that he would be able to walk someday. I admire that in him. What I don't admire was his embarrassment of his disability. It was known that he was careful never to be seen using his wheelchair in public, and great care was taken to prevent any portrayal in the press that would highlight his disability. I think he could have been such an amazing role model for those who suffered from any form of disability. I would love to tell him about my daughter and how she, like him, fought against her disability and fought to find her place. She never shied away from challenges. I think he and Faithie would have gotten along wonderfully.
But all of those I've mentioned are not the ones I want to have lunch with. I would love to have lunch with someone living but go to a past date. My choice is "The Kid." He has become a part of our family without ever meaning too. I would take us back to November 7th, 2014 and go to Olive Garden. I love Olive Garden and would hope he likes it too.
We would learn about each other and discover what likes and dislikes we have. I would find out about his fiancé and how they found each other. He would tell me about finishing Pharmacy school and his dreams for afterwards. I would tell him about my family and make each person real to him. I really believe it would be a great lunch.
Before we finished I would share with "The Kid" that when he leaves to go exercise tonight to run late. I would say try leaving at 6:00 instead of ten minutes before. There will be an accident if you leave before and my Princess would be killed.
But if by chance you leave early and the accident happens please don't blame yourself. Know that my husband and I will forgive you the night of the accident. We will be concerned for your well being along with ours. My family will each have different opinions of you. My oldest will be angry with you until he meets you a year later. He will ask us many different times during the year, "Why didn't he wait a few more seconds before going?" Once he meets you he will say to us, "The Kid seems like a good guy."
My youngest really won't talk about you.
Jamie and I will talk a lot about you and how we feel at such peace knowing we forgave you. We both would tell you at this lunch, because I am sure Jamie would be there too, please never play the "what if" game. If you haven't yet, find the love of Jesus and allow him in your heart. Please share how love will bring you through.
And finally we would hug and go our separate ways. I know I would feel good about this lunch and when the accident happens later in the day I will know that "The Kid" will feel as heart broken as us but will find his way, just like we are doing everyday.
So that is who I would have lunch with. Who would you have lunch with?