My Heart Hurts

I just cannot stop, stop, stop missing you.  I thought my tears had dried up over the last few days but they came back in full force today.  Momma cannot stop the tears today and my tummy is so sad sick.  My heart is in pain.  I need you here my Lady.  I need you here but you will never be here again.  It sucks like no other.  It's a pain that will never go away.  It may dull over time but it will always be there. 

Happy Birthday My Lady

Baby Girl it's been 7 months since we saw you last and I still cannot believe you are gone. Sweet Baby so many things have happened in the last month: your first birthday in Heaven came, Momma's first birthday without you, going on a women's retreat with church, and end of the school and no you.

We celebrated your birthday even though you weren't here.  I can only imagine how beautiful and perfect your birthday was up in Heaven.  I  tied dyed  shirts for the us with purple and Daddy had a cake made for you.  We went to your body's resting place and released balloons.  Everyone who came said something to you as they released.  Mackenzie's momma said, "I hope you ate a lot of sugar today in Heaven."

Your Papa really misses you.  He choked up when he said his thoughts.  I love your Papa Faithie.  He has become a "Dad" to me and is protective of me.  It's something I always wanted growing up and I dearly love him like you did.  He's already told me that we will be able to get through Family Camp together.... We're not looking forward to it this year.

Elijah wasn't happy much.  His face shows it all in the picture.  When we released the balloons he went chasing them and yelled, "Come Back".  I wonder if the "Come Back" was directed to you more than the balloons.  A part of my heart believes it was.

 

Daddy too is really missing you too.  If you look at his face you can see he is smiling but look closer and you can see his eyes are missing some spark.  He wishes you were here too like me but we would never want you to leave Heaven and the most safe places of places.

A friend of ours made this cake for us and you would have LOVED IT!!  It was so tasty and chocolatey.....

I miss you Baby.  It's all I really have to say today.  I just miss, miss, miss you and look forward to the day I can hug you again in Heaven.

I love you ALWAYS and FOREVER,
Love,
Momma