School Visit

 Hi Baby Girl.  Momma's had a whirlwind type of week.  I had a hard time wanting to do much of anything.  After talking to our therapist (Daddy and I go to one together) it was agreed upon to call my medical doctor and adjust my medicines. Since you have left us for Heaven, I suffer from deep anxiety at night.  My heart will start racing, my mind will go faster than fast, memories flood my brain and sleep doesn't want to come.  All I can think about is death and how much I want to be there with you in Heaven.  It makes Daddy super sad when I say this and our therapist suggested getting help.  So Baby Girl I am going to see a specialist to help me mentally get back on track.  My medical doctor is helping me too.  I am so thankful for good doctors. 

 

This last week went well.  After fixing my medicines and finally getting some good sleep I've been more upbeat this week.  I still love my sleep and would much rather do that all day but this week I've moved more.

 

I went to run camp on Saturday with Ms. Carrie.  I had signed up for that before everything all happened.  When we arrived at the place we were going to run, I suggested leaving and that I don't think I can do 4 miles.  She didn't listen to me and I'm proud to say that I jogged/walked the first 2 miles and had to walk the last 2 miles because I developed a couple of blisters.  It was great.  I am going to make running something to do just for me.  My ultimate goal and need to start taking seriously is to compete in the "Glass Slipper" challenge at Disney next February.  I want to do it in memory/honor of you.  This running gives me something to look forward too.

 

Today I went to your school.  I haven't been able to go there since your passing.  It was there that I had my final hug and kiss from you.  I had dropped you off late that morning.  Once I left your classroom I heard your teachers say, "Where are you going Faithie?" I turned back around and there you were standing in the hallway.  "Alright come here," I said to you.  You ran into my arms for a hug and kiss and it melted my heart like always.  So very glad God nudged you to leave your classroom.

 

Well I went to your school today because of the above picture.  Your school has four pictures of children in the school doing an accept of respect. Each picture has a letter on it which spells LEAD.  Your picture was on the D and the word on it was RESPECT.  I went to your school so I could get a copy of this picture. 

 

Every time I'd drop you off you would walk over to the picture and proudly say, "That's me!!"

The office sent me and your brother to your classroom.  I squeezed his hand tighter and tighter as we came closer and closer to your classroom.  My eyes also teared up the closer we came.  I'm glad I came though because we were given a basket of memories.  You were blessed with awesome teachers and the three of them had been with you since Kindergarten. I was glad to see them.

 

I hugged them and was given the purple basket that the kids had made for us/you.  Lifetouch created a copy of the picture above for me and gave us a CD with your school pictures on it.  That was an awesome blessing. 

 

I even signed up to be a Mystery Reader in your classroom.  My heart loves those children and teachers. Daddy and I are both going to go and we are going to read one of your favorites: Five Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed. We are going to give the kids each a copy of the book.

 

Ian came up to me and grabbed my hand.  He told me you were dead and he missed you.  I told him I missed you too.  He talked about you and it was nice to hear.

 

Well I shall sign off for a bit.

I love you ALWAYS and FOREVER My Lady,

Love,

Momma