Dear Faith, it's Daddy

Hey Faith How's Heaven? I can only imagine how beautiful it is. Mommy wishes she could be there with you. She misses you terribly. We talk about you often. Halloween is coming in a few days. Mommy may dress up as what you always wanted to be, a beautiful witch.

I've been working 1/2 days for about a month now trying to reset myself dealing with the PTSD. Mommy doesn't think it's helping, but I do. She wants me to go back to work full time. It all has to do with one of her biggest regret and worry. 

What is that regret and worry?  It’s money and it  actually started off right after you died.  People didn't know what to do so they gave us money to do what we wanted with it. Every time mom looked at banking the money reminded her of you being gone.  She saw it as "death money".  She wanted it gone. Mommy was extremely grateful to everyone who helped us during this time with the money.

We did a lot of good with the money, we were able to pay cash for car we needed to replace. It was weird eating at home without you, so we would go out to eat. We went out to eat a lot. We would tip the servers anywhere from 20%-200% of the bill. We sent friends on a trip so he could see his sister for the first time ever.  We bought Christmas presents for kids and families in need. I replaced our broken dishwasher with a new one. We put shower doors in to replace the curtains. We paid many bills and we bought your headstone. Mommy thinks we blew the money, I don't think so.  

We just didn't put anything in a rainy day fund (savings account). Knowing our family it seems like it's raining more than the sun is out and the money is all gone now. 

It seems like it's the only thing she thinks/worries about. Now that we don't have money it's really been raining, more like a torrential downpour. The heating element in the oven went out, the heat was shut off for a day (Glad that's back on because it's starting to get cold), the dishwasher tube was clogged, the roof over your room leaked and ruined the ceiling, AND now the brakes are going out of the car.  

What will be next? Only God knows.

Your Papa is coming tomorrow to help with the brakes. I'm gonna have your brother,  Trever help him. He is much better at teaching your brothers than he did with me and my brother. Trever will be driving before we know it and I'd like him to know more about cars than I do. Thanks for listening.  I Love you Faith.

Love,
Daddy