Daddy usually writes me a note and buys me a flower or plant to grow outside. We usually like to do something special for your Mema's but this year we just stayed here. Daddy was really missing you the day before Mother's Day. He wrote this on his Facebook page:
Some days are harder than others. The days that you think would be hard tend to go better than others. The 7th of May was the 6th month since the accident. That day went pretty smoothly. Heather Marie and I kind of had the day planned out. The following day had a event that neither one of us will forget. Woodsedge had a program put on by a bunch of different autistic classes. The class Faith would of been in went last. They did a tribute for Faith. Which Heather were aware of.... Soon as they put the picture of Faith up on the screen I couldn't control my emotions. Then Saturday came, normally sometime in the day I would take the three kids out to pick something out for Heather for Mother's Day. Normally we would pick out some kind of plant or flower. So the boys and I headed out today, it felt like we were missing something. We were, but it was someone. It didn't feel right getting a flower or plant. Trever and Elijah both said no plants this time. Mother's Day won't be so happy in the Hall house.
Daddy told me at night in more detail how much he loved going to pick something out with you and your brothers.
I had everyone make hearts to show a piece of my heart isn't here but she is not forgotten.
I think you're brothers forgot it was Mother's Day. They had some pretty crappy attitudes and I cried most of the day. I think Elijah was really missing your presence. Trever just didn't want to help pick up. Usually every Mother's Day Daddy has you three help pick up the house and we either go out to eat or you all make something. I decided I would rather cook and clean. In all honesty it made me forget it was Mother's Day. I wanted to forget and so doing things I would normally do helped.
At one point it rained and it was a nice warm rain. I loved playing in the rain with you. Elijah was outside when it started and I went and joined him. That really made my crappy day a bit brighter. We even jumped in the puddles together. Elijah even later made me scrambled eggs. They were yummy. He put salsa and cheese in them. He has gotten really good at cooking eggs.
I loved the card your brothers picked out on their own. Daddy said to them you two are acting like your card!! It was funny. This year your brothers didn't want to buy the same thing I normally get which is flowers or plants. I love those plants and flowers but they told your Daddy no. They each picked something out on their own. Trever picked out a candle with a lemon scent and Elijah a body pillow. They both know me and what I like. I felt blessed even though I was a mess.
So this momma thought Mother's Day was going to be no problem. I was so, so, so wrong. The first few months of your passing I was on auto pilot. Christmas came and went, Daddy's birthday, the New Year and daily life and I just let it go pass. In February I started to wake up from auto pilot but I think April is where I've really been alert to your voice being gone. I take a deep breath sometimes and it hurts because I thought of you.
I love you ALWAYS and FOREVER,
Love,
Momma
No comments:
Post a Comment